Plucked Flowers and Fallen Leaves

“One should pay no heed to the faults of others, what they have done and not done. Rather should one consider the things that one has oneself done and not done.”
~Dhammapada

When I was boy — I must have been four or five years old — a recurring dream frightened me so intensely that often I would wake up in the dead of night startled, calling out for my father. Still half asleep, he would wander down the hallway in the dark to comfort and calm me so that both of us could get some rest. In the dream I saw myself hovering above a green meadow dotted with yellow flowers and surrounded by a dense forest. All of a sudden I began to plummet, terrified as I was unable to halt the descent. This boyhood dream returned to me about ten years ago, though now with one curious difference — as I fell from the sky I experienced joy in place of fear. Now as I plummeted to Earth, I beheld a crowd of people below in the meadow waiting for me, smiling and laughing.

“Why do you seek the living among the dead?”
~Gospel of Luke

There is a Zen story in which the Buddha stands silent before his disciples and simply holds up before them a plucked flower. Of all the many disciples present, only one, Mahākāśyapa, perceived the transformative spiritual teaching that all the Buddha’s words could never so directly or perfectly communicate. Mahākāśyapa could not suppress his smile and the Buddha knew that at least one of his followers understood the silent teaching. The story is almost a thousand years old and was probably formulated in China at about the time of the birth of Saint Bruno of Cologne, founder of the Carthusian Order and follower of the silent path.

You and I are surrounded by plucked flowers and fallen leaves, sparrow eggs safe in a mother’s nest and chicks passed too soon from this world. Like Mahākāśyapa and Saint Bruno,  we have the capacity to find in the precariousness and impermanence of this passing world a source of hope and joy to sustain us in moments of difficulty and darkness.

~BT Waldbillig
May 1, 2017

How Great the Tree

It is a simple fact of the world, as we know it, that some creatures must take the lives of other creatures in order to live. This usually entails physical pain and emotional suffering in those who are killed, but there is a burden that those who take life must carry with them, also.

In human beings, we see this acknowledged in the ancient ritual cave paintings of Lascaux, Alta Mira, Chauvet, etc. and also in the traditional practice of hunting only out of necessity and in wasting no part of the animal whose life is taken.

The taking of life — for any reason whatsoever — wounds both the individual killed and the individual who kills. This is as true of animals as it is of men. Yet some beings take life in order to ensure the continuation of life. Other beings give life in order to ensure that the gift they experience might continue.

In truth, anyone who participates in violence and death, in the taking of life, participates in this mystery. Whether aggressor, victim, or spectator; whether voluntary or involuntary; whether alone or in community; whether wicked or blameless; whether man or woman or child.

Those who dedicate themselves to a spiritual path learn to love and honor all beings, though this is no easy task. We might even call it a foolish, impossible mission, since that is how it seems at times. However, no matter where we stand within our experience of the mystery of suffering, we possess the capacity for positive spiritual transformation.

Look to the Tree:

When we behold the acorn or walnut we cannot believe the power it possesses to transform itself and very place it inhabits. From a small seed, mighty, unseen roots descend, turning useless soil into a place of life, breaking apart even stones.

Like a Titan, its body rises heavenward and stretches out its arms, providing rest and shade for the weary and a home to the birds of the sky.

The Tree creates the air that sustains man and beast. It offers itself as a sacrifice, becoming home and ark. It is the servant of the bringer of fire — fire that destroys, fire that sustains, fire that warms, fire that purifies.

How great is this Tree, like unto a god, stooping down to worship us who should worship it, silent and steadfast, wise beyond human understanding. And how marvelous that we, who deserve so little, are the branches and shoots and leaves and blossoms of this noble Tree. How noble are we, also!

~BT Waldbillig
January 29, 2017

The Silence of Women

While I’ve never come across commentary on the topic — though there must be some — nor heard any sermons preached on it, I’m always struck by the repeated command of Jesus to his followers not to tell the world about the miracles he performs. While Jesus recognized something of value in silence, his apostles were too much of this world to do the same. One presumes their disobedience arose as much from a desire to honor their teacher as it did from their lust for benefit, fame, esteem, glory, status, and power. The leaders of Christian communities haven’t changed much since then.

This truth has led me to what might be an unorthodox, or at least uncommon, interpretation of Saint Paul’s injunction that women be silent in church. Now, Paul is one of Christianity’s greatest teachers but also a complete asshole. That’s Christianity for you. He is often and not unjustly accused of what today we call misogyny. You’ll recall what he says:
“Let your women keep silence in the churches: for it is not permitted unto them to speak”. (1 Corinthians 14:34)

I have come to wonder if he is perhaps pointing us to women as the more committed and enlightened followers of Jesus. Unlike the apostles, they not only heard Jesus but also listened to him. They understood and put into practice his teaching. Unlike the apostles.

Of course, I’m not putting this idea forward as justification for continued misogyny in our day. I just think that we do well to find fresh meaning in ancient texts, to put on the novus habitus mentis advocated by Pope Paul VI.

Neither the Catholic Church nor the body politic of the United States has yet to honor the wisdom of women by truly listening to — and not just hearing — their voices. That will change one day. Until then men and women of good faith and upright intention will struggle to make it happen.

~BT Waldbillig
January 15, 2017

Silent Expectation

Some say choose the Path of Renunciation
Others claim the Path of Excess is best

There are those who offer a Middle Path
But this I tell you:

Everything in this world has value
And even sorrow is useful

One man cannot in himself
Experience fully this world

But we are many Brothers
A legion of mighty warriors

We are the wicked, the damned, the lost
We are the saints, the just, the light

Scattered throughout history
Like the sands of time

And so:

That which we have received
Let us hand on to others

Honoring one another
In silent expectation

~BT Waldbillig
December 6, 2016